Mirror, Mirror - Review

As most people know, there are not one but TWO "Snow White" movies to be released in 2012. "Snow White and the Huntsman" and "Mirror, Mirror". Pretty early there has been plenty of information about "Snow White and the Huntsman" in form of several posters, banners, and teasers debuting at various conventions. But director Tarsem Singh's "Mirror, Mirror" was for a long time kept in mystery. Neither the official title nor the style of the movie were revealed for a long time. This changed when the first official trailer was shown that people got their first look. Well, to keep it short, it looked horrible. The style looked flashy and to some point Tim-Burton-ish but as far as the trailer showed, the movie is filled with terrible comedy and humor.
But is it really as bad as it looks?

The plot:
An evil queen (Julia Roberts) steals control of a kingdom and an exiled princess (Lily Collins) enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright.

Obviously the primary goal of Tarsem's adaptation is to update the classic "Snow White" story and make it "hip" with a cast of big stars. "Mirror, Mirror" BARELY follows the structure of the classic Snow White tale and therefore has been changed for the most part for the sake of "updating" things and make them "new"(like Tim Burton tried with "Alice in Wonderland" and we know how that turned out -.-).
Only the original characters like the dwarfs, Snow White, the evil queen, the mirror, etc. mark the spots in which the movie is true to the source material. Everything else is completely made up.
The story takes a different exposition but works with the known characters, who meet each other differently and have other kinds of relationships to one another.
Although the story can barely be described as "Snow White" it is pretty standard, delivers nothing really interesting, and is very tiresome and boring...why? Because the main element of this movie doesn't work: the comedy.

The comedy in this movie can only be described as terribly childish. I would have gotten a heartattack if i was the producer and saw what horrendous abomination of a movie had been created with my money. Watching the trailer for the first time, i just couldn't believe how ANY producer was willing to finance such an awful "sense" of humor?
The comedy is just as awful as it appears in the trailers. It is incredibly lame and Disney Channel level, with the absolute lowpoint being the scene in which the prince thinks he's a puppy -.-.

Watching this crap, i got to a point at which i was seriously asking myself what the target audience is that this movie was trying to appeal to. Adults?....NO?! Kids?....Maybe, but some supposedly comedic moments are sometimes even too heavy for kids, like the queen trying to sexually seduce the prince.
Considering that there are also whole lot of stupid comic sound effects, that by the way don't help this crap movie either, it all comes down to the movie probably being targeted towards kids (and toddlers).
Nobody can honestly tell me that this movie is also something for adults. How can any adult be entertained by such goofy pseudo-slapstick. Watching "Ratatouile" or "Wall-E" or "Rio" as an adult is far more reasonable than watchinf THIS! And if "Mirror, Mirror" entertains you, then let me tell you this: You are easily amused and your standards are too low!

Acting in a nutshell is very weak in this flick. Julia Roberts as the wannabe-hip evil queen always seems like she doesn't give a damn and just waits for her paycheck. Additionally, i think she doesn't fit the role of the evil queen at all and therefore is miscast. Lily Collins as Snow White is cast pretty well though considering the looks but her performance also isn't very memorable, but here i would blame the poorly written script.
Armie Hammer who previously did great in "The Social Network" has taken a huge step backwards by taking part in this terrible movie. How can anyone who starred in a David Fincher movie accept a role in such a catastrophic failure?! Didn't he notice that the script was crap?! I guess money fixes everything -.-
It really hurts seeing a talented actor like him demolish himself with such an embarassing performance. It's like watching somebody mentally comitting suicide.
Only the dwarfs represent a decent cast and performance. But even they aren't able to deliver any good comedy.

Overall, "Mirror, Mirror" is nothing more than a barely passable straight-to-TV Disney Channel movie for kids. While the movie at times has the flair of a Tim-Burton flick, this only occasionally happens and can't save it at all. This movie just feels outdated (regarding the comedy) and nowhere near the quality of what a hollywood movie with such a big star cast should have.
Despite the fact that "Snow White and the Huntsman" hasn't been released yet, i can tell you that it already is the better Snow White movie. I guess only kids or toddlers might get some amusement out of this lazily made picture.

I didn't expect much from the director of "The Cell" and "Immortals" but THIS...just really hurts watching. It not only offends your intelligence but you will also feel how your lifetime is slowly ticking away and you start asking yourself "What am i doing with my life?! Why am i watching this s**t?!".
With a terrible script, talented actors just don't giving a damn about their performance and a boring story, SHAME ON EVERYONE WHO TOOK PART IN PRODUCING THIS MESS!

If the trailers aren't warning enough for you, then I'll tell you now: Don't watch this...seriously. Don't watch "Mirror, Mirror".

Final Verdict: 2 out of 10


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