The Amazing Spider-Man - Review

Talk about unnecessary. Since Spiderman is the only thing that is keeping "The Avengers" from becoming an even bigger hyper-blockbuster at the box office, Sony just can't give up on the webswinger so easily. So here's a short version of what i think happened at Sony's...

"But what do we do? Sam Raimi is gone and so is EVERYBODY ELSE of the cast?" -"Hey what about that douche from Social Network? Is he likable?" -"Eh no?" -"Perfect! Now just slap Emma Stone into the bunch." -"YES! She would be a great Mary Jane!" -"Nah. Make that bitch blond and call her Gwen Stacy..dudes love blondes." -"Eh ok?...but if we recast every character from the originals we could just as well tell the exact same Spiderman origin story again." -"BRILLIANT!"

!!!!!!------->>>>THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN<<<<<----------!!!!!!

Two of the few bright spots: Emma Stone and the new costume.

Alright, as you can tell i am quite a bit upset about this newest Spiderman flick. I can't think of that many movies that gave me the feel of paying money at the theater for pretty much the same movie that i got on DVD at home.

Well, this review is pretty hard to do without going into spoilerish territory. Therefore, i will make this a con/pro-review. This means that i am systematically talking about each negative aspect about the movie and later each positive aspect.

!!!Be warned that the con-list might contain spoilerish info!!!

(For a non-spoilerish review head directly to the verdict at the bottom.)

---------------------!!SPOILER ALERT!!-----------------------


- Telling Spiderman's origin story all over again. With this reboot, one might think that there are quite some new tweaks to the story how Peter Parker became Spiderman. But no. Except for the "mystery around Peter's parents" there is BARELY..and i mean BARELY anything new to the story. It is boring the crap out of you sitting about 40 min through the exact same origin story again (Peter is outsider, gets bitten, Uncle dies, tries to find killer, etc.)

- Andrew Garfield as a whole is a worse Peter Parker than Tobey Maguire. Though i have to say that there's a certain amount of charisma to him, he more than once proofs to be an egoistic idiot. While in "Spiderman 1" Tobey Maguire NEVER told Mary Jane who he is because he doesn't want to put her in danger, HERE...Andrew just flatout tells Gwen as if "WHO GIVES A FUCK?"....only later he seems to realize that he can't be with her because he is Spiderman. OH...WOOPS!...IDIOT!!

- While in "Spiderman 1" Tobey's High School wasn't a good place for nerds or outsiders either, in "Amazing Spiderman" it's even worse. How come no teacher does something against that main bully called Flash. He just goes to people he doesn't like, tortures them, hits them AND NO TEACHER DOES ANYTHING!...Even worse: HE AND PETER BECOME BUDDIES AT THE END--->>> WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!

- Gwen Stacy is established as one of Peter's classmates in High School, yet at the same time she works for the high-tech corporation Oscorp on genetics and stuff...How does that work?!?!?!

- How come this movie is supposed to take place in today's day and age, yet still we see Minority Report stuff and holograms everywhere in Oscorp etc.???

- In Oscorp, Peter (Andrew) INTENTIONALLY sneaks into the bio-lab with hundreds of mutated spiders and gets bitten--> IDIOT!
In "Spiderman 1", Tobey gets bitten accidently by a spider that broke out of the cage --> ACCIDENT!

- In "Spiderman 1" there was ONE SPECIFIC MUTATED SPIDER that seemed to be able to change you into Spiderman. Later that spider dies. Now, Andrew goes into a lab with hundreds of spiders. Only the one that bit him dies. So there are still at least a dozen of spiderman-making-spiders out there?!

- After being bitten, Andrew feels just fine, isn't getting sick and instantly finds out about his powers and is cool with it. HE EVEN PRACTICES HIS POWERS FOR THE FIRST TIME BY JUMPING OF A SKYSCRAPER!!! Compare this to "Spiderman 1", where Tobey first got terribly sick, and later carefully jumped from one houseroof to the next. Slowly findingy out about his powers. But with Andrew, we get absolutely no development. His only beginner-problem seem to be his sticky fingers.

- Andrew's Uncle Ben and Aunt May are given way not enough screentime to develop any kind of sympathy towards the audience. I didn't give one single fuck when Martin Sheen died. Their acting feels very wooden and forced. Not natural or charismatic at all.

- The way that Andrew gets inspired for the Spidey costume is pretty silly.

- When in school after being bitten, Andrew more than once very obviously shows of his SUPERHUMAN POWERS. He jumps several meters up in the air, slam-dunks a basketball so hard that the basket itself completely breaks down, he throws a football against a METAL POLE THAT GETS INSTANTLY DEFORMED! Yet still everybody just acts like it's cool and just gives him detention. HELLLOOOOO!!! DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT'S NORMAL?!?!?

- The love relationship between Gwen Stacy and Andrew (Peter Parker) is given very much screentime. Yet they NEVER have anything important to say to each other, except to mumble or stutter a bit like romantic idiots. I never got what Gwen Stacy found attractive about Peter Parker except for his intelligence maybe. It's like being attracted to a shorter, more idiotc, superhuman version of an even more stuttering Hugh Grant.

- Where did Peter get his web-shooters from? At one point he sees them in a machine in Oscorp but...what then?! Did he steal that technology and built it himself at home?!

- Just like in "Spiderman 1" we unfortunately never find out where Peter got that sleak looking Spidey suit from...and i highly doubt that Peter is that skilled at sewing.

- When Dr. Connors turns into the Lizard for the first time, he attacks a bridge full of people in cars. During and after the attack EVERYONE seems to be more amazed by the fact that there are cars burning and a dude in a jumpsuit swinging around than A GIANT FREAKIN LIZARD CREATURE NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE walking the streets!!!

- Later, the newspapers print articles of a giant lizard roaming around in NY...HELLOOOO?!?!?! ARMY?!?! SWAT??!?!? ANYONE?!?!?....NOPE...the police is more interested in capturing the vigilante Spiderman. A dude in a costume swinging around is obviously much more important to get under control than a vicious 2 meter tall lizard that goes around killing people -.-

- Simultaneously with the lizard appearing, suddenly there are surprisingly many usual lizard on the streets. Hiding in the sewers and stuff. WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM?! I'd get it if it was some kind of animal that is frequently seen in big cities like rats but...FUCK MAN WHERE DID ALL THOSE LIZARDS COME FROM AND WHY?!?!? Does the lizard himself spread pheromones or something?! Is he a lizard-lady-magnet with all his muscles and stuff?!

- The effects in the movie are pretty uneven. Aside from the designs, the CGI in most cases looked better in "Spiderman 3". Here in "The Amazing Spiderman", the practical effects don't blend together as smoothly with the CG as in "Spiderman 3". You always can immediately spot the CG Spidey and the real one. The CG Spidey animation looks kind of flubbery as if you are watching a video game cutscene. But overall, this is just a nitpick.

- When fighting the lizard in the sewers, Spidey gets scratched just with the tip of the Lizard's claws, which cause huge as fuck wounds on Peter's chest. Like hospital-level wounds. Yet later when he is fighting even heavier against that thing, it's no big deal anymore.

- Gwen Stacy's father is one of the chief officer's of the NY police. Neither does he like Peter nor does he like Spiderman ONE..SINGLE..BIT! But suddenly, as Spiderman/Peter reveals his true identity to him...HE IS IMMEDIATELY COOL WITH IT AND TELLS ALL HIS MEN TO HELP SPIDEY!!...WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! He doesn't like Peter AND Spidey...that's DOUBLE the reasons to capture that fucker!!!

- Peter is too stupid to eat a fish...yes.

- At one point it's established that Curt Connors/the Lizard has built himself an underground lab for experimenting. Why?
He is a member of Oscorp and has even more science stuff in his regular lab! PLUS, he told every worker at Oscorp to take the week off just before he went into the sewers!

- In his sewer lab, Curt Connors records his experimental progress via a camera...only to destroy it when he's turning into the Lizard....-.- way to make progress.

- As Curt Connors raises the dose for the mutagen-stuff that turns him into the lizard, he more and more develops an alter ego. He turns schizophrenic and has an evil voice talking to him. It's the exact same thing that happened to Norman Osbourne in Spiderman 1. Original!

- At the end of the movie Peter realizes that he can't be together with Gwen because it would put her into danger...well why in hell DIDN'T HE REALIZE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! HE IS FIGHTING HUGE GECKOS AND STUFF!!
Compare this to the Raimi movies: It took Tobey Maguire 2 movies (till "Spiderman 2") until it was INEVITABLE for him to keep his identity secret towards Mary Jane. Tobey always knew the consequences. Andrew Garfield on the other hand is just a dumbass!

- Worst part of the movie: The high school bully Flash, who tortures every outsider in school, SOMEHOW becomes Peter's buddy in the end and starts wearing Spidey-logo shirts -.-
--> This was one of those glorious moments in which i wanted to PUNCH that movie!

- The post-credit scene is absolutely useless and should have been cut.

- The mystery around the disappearance of Peter's parents doesn't get solved or explained.

- During one of the last scenes, Gwen is angry at Peter for him not having been at her father's funeral. Peter was there but hid on a roof. Why? He doesn't want to put her into danger but at the same time HE IS IN THE SAME FUCKIN SCHOOL AND EVEN IN THE SAME FUCKIN CLASS THAT SHE IS IN!!!

- The action-scenes and performances are good but often the camera is quite a bit too hectic. I heavily recommend NOT seeing this one in 3D!

- Acting is uneven. Sometimes decent and sometimes poorly overacted --> Andrew Garfield just screaming when someone dies.

- The movie struggles to find a consistent tone. It radically switches between high-school romance, lighthearted comic book movie, and the dark serious dark-knight-style. It results in a weird mixture that isn't really good in either one of the categories.

-----------------------SPOILER END!!-------------------------

I never got why the eyes had to be yellow


- Seeing a new villain of the Spidey-comics come to life on the big screen.

- The Lizard looks pretty good. While still being completely CG, his design is something new that doesn't rely on the commonly known lizard monsters with a snout.

- The new Spidey costume looks very good if not even better than Raimi's version.

- There are some funny moments here and there when Peter discovers his powers or his teenage-life routine catches up with him during his Spidey-time.

- Spider-Man himself is more of a funny wisecracker here, which makes this depiction of Spidey (not Peter) more true to the original comics.

- It has one of the best and funniest Stan Lee cameos.

- Emma Stone (Eye-candy. Although she would've made a much better Mary Jane in my opinion, but well).

- Action scenes are a bit hectic sometimes but overall they are admittedly pretty good and satisfying. (Yet, i think they should've introduced the Lizard much earlier in the movie).


Let's shoot invisible webs!

"The Amazing Spiderman" instantly was under heavy pressure. Basically retelling everything we already know just with a different villain and a new cast, it didn't have very high expectations. But the trailers promised a solid action comic book movie.
Sheerly judging from a technical and entertainment-focused standpoint, you can without a doubt watch "The Amazing Spiderman" and simply have a nice good watch for the night.

Yet, be warned that beyond this, this fourth entry offers ABSOLUTELY nothing new. And i mean ABSOLUTELY.
Besides having numerous nonsensical plotholes, a rushed feel, and forced out-of-nowhere character development, it has a very strong "been-there-done-that" feel.
One can easily say that it basically recycles at least about 45% of "Spiderman 1".
The movie has trouble finding a consistent tone and what kind of movie it actually wants to be. Switching between high-school-romance, light hearted comic action (Avengers), and dark and serious comic action (Dark Knight), the audience often doesn't know how to feel.
Spiderman doesn't have to be overly realistic oder step into the footsteps of the Dark Knight's style.
This is where Sam Raimi succeeded: He basically found the perfect tone for Spiderman movies while simultaneously mixing good but not forced drama and romance.
Everything that Raimi did right feels forced here.

With that said, aside from sheer eye-candy considering the action, effects and Emma Stone, there's not much to find here. It's an entertaining, yet often derivative and dumb movie. Other than giving us the Lizard on the big screen, this movie has absolutely no right to exist. It remains unnecessary and has zero impact on the world of comic book movies.

If you are only looking forward to the action and fights between Spidey and the Lizard and don't expect much new from the story or script anyway, feel free to watch it. You're gonna have a good time. On the other hand, everybody else that is hoping for a revival of the franchise is probably going to be underwhelmed by the result (at least storywise). Let's hope they improve the story for the sequel of "The Amazing Spiderman".

Final Verdict: 5 out of 10


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