Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Review

Ok this is one of the really bad ones. Though i never really was a big transformers fan (not as a kid and definitely not now), i thought the idea of transformers was pretty decent. It did its job well. Back in the 80s, the transformers themselves were just invented to sell toys to kids. It's that simple. Then there followed a tv series, animated movies and now the live-action movies. The complete franchise is purely focused on kids. That's ok so far. BUT Michael Bay didn't completely target his transformer movies on kids. It's pretty obviously that he mostly tried to make a kind of realistic version of the transformers that also appeals to adults. The only problem: THEY DID NOT!

Alright, the plot of transformers 2 centers around Sam (Shia LeBeouf) who finds a piece of the All Spark from the first movie. Now the evil Decepticons try to get that piece from him to give its powers to their evil leader "Fallen" so that he can take over the world. Sam, his friends and the good Autobots have to stop the Decepticons...

yeah...that's pretty much it

The acting is not good. Well, ok Shia does his typical okay performance like in his other movies. I think the problem that most people have with Shia is not his acting but his entire persona. Either you like or hate him. Me personally, i think he does ok (EXCEPT FOR INDIANA JONES 4! THAT MOVIE SUCKED! PURE BLASPHEMY!).
Then there is Megan Fox who is one of the worst actors of the new generation. EVERYONE knows why she has been put into this movie. Her looks. Ok to be honest, she looks extremely good, but that's it. That also pretty much sums up the feel of this flick. Although she once said that "transformers 2 didn't gave her any opportunity to show her real acting skills!", she didn't show them in any other movie. Did you see Jonah Hex?! She probably does even worse there!
The parents of Sam (Kevin Dunn & Julie White) act OKAY but the main problem with them (like with all of the other actors) is the completely bad written script.
The other actors are not worth mentioning (trust me).
Most of the cast is CGI anyway.

Alright first i am going to sum up the good aspects about this movie:

- Robots beating the shit out of each other
- Megan Fox (ONLY HER LOOKS)

ehm...yeah that's it.

Now the negative aspects. Alright let's start:

- This movie is WAAAAAAY too long

- The final showdown action scene is so overblown with explosions, CGI, slow motion etc.. There was so much action that you really started to get bored.

- The comedy is simply not funny. Not one joke is funny. Ok maybe it's really targeted towards kids but when it's like that, why are some parts of the movie like "we're gonna rip your brain out bla bla!" know? FOR KIDS!

- Right after Bumblebee saved Sam's ass from the tiny decepticons. Sam goes like "i can't take you with me. I don't need you."...WHAT?!

- In one scene, Sam's mother eats Hash brownees and acts like she's on extasy, she runs around, hits people...Does Michael Bay even know how Marijuana affects on people?!

- After the GIGANTIC SHOWDOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY from the first movie, the government covered it all up, so that nobody knows of the existence of transformers.......WTF?!?!?!? THAT MEANS NOBODY SAW THAT AND CAMERAS, INTERNET ETC. DO NOT EXIST! WHAAAT?!

- By the way, the first scene of transformers 2 shows a giant fight of the autobots against an incredibly big decepticon...IN CHINA!!! AND NOBODY SAW IT?!?!?! YEEEAH RIIIGHT!!!

- Those FUCKIN ANNOYING autobot twins. You know Jar Jar Binks? Yeah, that's how those two fucking twins are!

- You often have problems differentiate between the transformers. Almost everyone of them is grey. The only method to identify if a transformer is good or bad is that the good ones have blue eyes and the bad ones red eyes. At the end it gets so crowded during the fights that you really lose track.

- Why do Decepticons grow out of eggs. THEY ARE FUCKIN ROBOTS! DO DECEPTICONS FUCK?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!

- Why is that one good Decepticon like an old man, has a stick and a beard?! HE'S A FUCKIN ROBOT!!!!

- In the scene, in which Sam and his friends beam from the united states to egypt, why is it still day?! TIMEZONES?!

- Transformers has the worst army of all time. Instead of destroying Megatron they throw him down to the bottom of the ocean...SO THAT THE DECEPTICONS CAN JUST DIVE DOWN TO REVIVE HIM!...AHHH! STUPID!

- In one scene, it turns out that that one OBVIOUSLY BAD teenager chick is a decepticon. Ok, if you are a decepticon and are able to transform into a human being. WHY DON'T THEY DO THAT ALL THE TIME!!?? They can disguise themselves as humans BUT NOOOO THEY THINK IT'S WAY MORE EFFICIENT TO DISGUISE AS A GIANT TRUCK OR JET OR SHIT!! AAAH! STUPID!!

- When Sam dies at the end, he wakes up in robot heaven. WTF?!?! Ok they say that he's the chosen one. Well ok but if Sam dies and wakes up in the afterlife which is ruled by transformers, does that mean that robots are the true gods of the universe?! OPTIMUS PRIME = JESUS?!?!?!?!? WHAT?!?!

- The final "BOSS" fight between Optimus Prime and Fallen takes like 1,5 minute or so. Really! It's truly the most unsatisfying, unepic, Boss Battle of all time.

- There's waaaaay too much CGI. Ok i couldn't think of any other way anyone could pull of transformers in a live action movie, but this CGI isn't enjoyable. During a fight it's like trying to follow a single bee in a whole swarm.

- In one scene, Sam cheats on Megan Fox. I mean, look at her! Who would honestly dump Megan Fox!?!? Sam is a jackass!!

Ok i think that are the main problems i had with this movie.

All in all, Michael Bay isn't generally a bad director. I liked the Bad Boys movies or The Island. He is truly capable of making decent to good action movies. But he really has to decide for which group of people he is making the movies. If he made transformers for kids. Then he has to really advertise it as a kids movie and rewrite the script. I mean there are dialogues about sex...that doesn't belong into a kids movie. And really, although Michael Bay is good at explosions...if we see a series of explosions for an hour, everyone would get bored of this. Try something different!
The first transformers movie was also not a good movie but decent. It didn't blow me away but it was something new to see a live action adaptation of the transformers. But with transformers 2, there is nothing new, except now there is an even lamer story, stupider jokes, stupider dialogue etc..
Though Transformers 2 was a box office hit but it TRULY is the worst movie of 2009. And of course Bay's worst movie yet.
If Bay wants to make up for Transformers 2, Transformers 3 has to be a masterpiece (like Dark Knight level).
But let's be honest, Transformers 3 is going to suck too and so the transformers seem to remain toys and kids stuff forever.

Final Verdict: 3 out of 10


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