The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Review

FINALLY, the last part of the unholy Twilight Saga has arrived. Some of you may already know my general opinion about this movie franchise. The question now again isn't really whether this conclusive last movie is any good or not, but whether it is worse than Breaking Dawn Part 1.
Twilight movies are often very strong contenders for my pick for the worst movie of the year. Does the franchise keep this tradition or is Part 2 not THAT bad?

The plot:
Bella is enjoying her new life and new powers, after the birth of their daughter, Renesmee. Soon, however, their family bliss is threatened again, by a new menace. Vampire Irina believes a child like Renesmee could challenge the power and existence of the Volturi. As Irina rallies the Volturi to destroy this potential threat, Bella and the Cullens - together with any allies they can assemble - are preparing to fight a crucial, ultimate battle, to protect their family. (source: IMDb)

First things first: SURPRISE! Breaking Dawn Part 2 is a bad movie!

So, with that said, we are going to do things a little bit differently here. Like with my other Twilight reviews, it's very difficult to understand just why this movie is so bad without going into details. The broad surface of its lame story arc might not seem so bad. It's rather the execution and lousy production which doom this entry of the Twilight Saga once more.

In the following i am going to make a sort of bullet point list that (WARNING!) goes deep down into spoiler territory. Those bullet points will mainly display all the main negative aspects i noticed in the movie. Yet still, at times i will also include positive aspects about the movie into the bullet point list (i know it doesn't make sense, ANYWAY).
And yes i admit, this is nitpicking.

The bullet points are in no particular chronological order.

However let's start the list:


----------!!!WARNING!!! SPOILERS!!!----------

- For some insane reason, Bella's baby daughter Renesmee is a CGI Baby. WTF?! It looks just as creepy and bad as CGI Jeff Bridges in Tron Legacy. Obviously they made this to have the baby do all kinds of facial expressions. Well that's a smart move! Instead of shaking your keys in front of its face and make it smile, they decided to invest thousands of dollars in expensive CGI. "JUST CGI THAT SHIT!".

- The werewolves in Part 2 look just as fake as the ones from the previous movies. Obviously they didn't choose another computer-animation-company to do the effects.

- Another lazy achievement is the running effect. During their speedruns, you can practically see that they just let the actors run in the same place in front of a green screen and then just slapped footage from a cameramans ride to the studio into the background. Even TV shows have better effects!

- Speaking about backgrounds, the entire movie has a fake look to it. You know why? Because in 90% of the shots the background practically isn't there. It is all shot in soundstages! It is very cheaply done and you can spot it everytime the background just looks either fake or extremely blurry. Which really happens in a ton of scenes: the woods, the frozen lake, etc.

- The movie has a very hard time balancing its comedic relief. Intentionally comedic scenes are very bland and are on a "oh that made me smile (if i'm retarded)"-level or are unintentionally funny. And let me tell you, there is a good amount of unintentionally funny moments that are supposed to be dramatic. If i wouldn't know that it's all meant to be taken seriously, i would say that the Twilight saga is one of the best comedy sagas of today's age.

- Why the fuck is Jacob all of a sudden ok with Bella and Edward being together? Did i miss something? Did he instead fall in love with their kid? Is he retarded? (yes) Or does the movie just dont give a fuck? (yes)


- With Breaking Dawn Part 2, somehow Twilight turned into the X-Men. All of a sudden it is introduced that every vampire has a unique special ability. Some of them even have elemental and electricity powers...WTF?! and why isn't this mentioned in any of the previous movies? Not even in Eclipse where they fight and special powers would come in handy! And why are the vampire powers so random?!

- The sick baby-sex fantasy of Jacob from Part 1 gets punished. And yes it's funny ^^

- As you might already know there is a whooole lot of stupid teenage drama that makes no fucking sense. But to be fair, most of the melodramatic crap in Part 2 was already introduced in the previous movies and is just annoying aftermath.

- Ashley Greene, the hands down sexiest actress in the entire saga, doesn't have that much screentime. Damn!

- Bella's father is treated like shit. He has the worst daughter EVER that just disappears for weeks while her father is going crazy worrying about her. And when she got told that that's the situation, she just flatout says she even wants to wait before she she is going to inform him that she is dead (because now she's a vampire). After finally meeting up with him, she STILL refuses to tell her FATHER the truth about what exactly happened. Worst daughter EVER!

-  At one key-scene, Bella's father got shown through Jacob's triggered transformation that werewolves exist. Yet STILL, Jacob and the rest of the idiot vampires decide NOT to tell Bella's father that vampires exist because it would cause trouble. YOU IDIOTS ALREADY SHOWED HIM THAT WEREWOLVES EXIST! HOW MUCH WORSE COULD VAMPIRES BE?!?!?!
It all makes the key-scene of Jacob's transformation in front of the father POINTLESS!!

- At one point, it is said that vampires don't blink, don't breathe, and have to pretend that they do all this to stay secret among humans. Then why the fuck do they do this constantly ALL THE TIME!!! Even when there aren't any humans around?! Oh and by the way, if vampires don't breathe: TALKING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT BREATHING!!!!

- Just as often as the vampires use their superspeed, they just as often forget that they have it.

Uh yeah. It's about to get serious now!

- Bella's dad, who by the way is a SHERIFF, isn't the least bit suspicious that his grand daughter Renesmee is growing in an inhumanly unnormal speed. She basically got 10 after 3 years!

- Luckily, Bella's father has completely given up on her. She tells him SHIT! Later, they even want to get him out of town by offering him a nice vacation at a far away place where he can go fishing. He then even says "You want to get rid of me? Well, it worked!" He basically doesn't give a fuck. Guess that's a good thing though.

- The dialogue (especially the ones between Bella and her father) are mind numbingly stupid and only make you angry about how much of a piece of shit daughter Bella is.

- Another key-scene in the movie, is that a vampire called Irina spots the young Renesmee playing in the snow. Next, we see her warning the Volturi that an immortal child (forbidden by vampire law) exists and that the family therefore has to be punished. Irina spotting the child in WASHINGTON and her warning the Volturi in ITALY happens during two scenes one after the other. WTF HAPPENED!?! DID SHE SWIM ALL THE WAY IN LIGHTSPEED FROM WASHINGTON TO ITALY?!

- Speaking of traveling, in the course of the movie all sorts of different vampire clans join Bella and her friends to fight the Volturi. Also Edward's parents and the others are just traveling around continents from scene to scene...WTF?! How so fast?!

- Why is Renesmee such a big deal that every vampire on the planet knows of her existence? Are you really trying to convince me that there never has occured that a vampire and a human had a child together?! (SURPRISE! At the end of the movie it turns out there's another vampire/human kid!).

- One of the foreign good female vampires has the ability to make you see and feel what she wants and basically evoke any emotion via looking at you. Then why doesn't she psychologically cripple or at least paralyze the enemies during the final battle?!?! Idiot!

- The vampires in 90% of the scenes are clearly walking around in broad daylight and not even shining! CONTINUITY PLEASE! And by the way, although there's a whole lot of decapitations and limbs getting torn, there's ZERO gore. Damn!

-  Speaking about continuity errors, during the final battle lots of vampires die by decapitation. Yet still, none of them turns into stone or ash like we saw them do in Eclipse!

Thank you Michael Sheen! You made my day!

- Basically everbody in the movie is giving an extremely overacted performance. Especially the Russian vampires and Michael Sheen as the Volturi leader. At least its funny as all hell!

- During the final battle, there is a good vampire that has the ability to control all elements. So basically everything. Then why the fuck doesn't he just melt the ice and freeze it again to trap the Volturi or at least USE HIS POWERS AT ALL!!

- Towards the end of the battle that elemental dude rips open the lake, and therefore opens up a giant crater WITH LAVA AT ITS BOTTOM! Since when is lava so close to the earths surface?!

- Michael Sheen as the Volturi leader is somehow both painful and incredibly funny and entertaining to watch overact ALL THE TIME! Especially that one scene in which he is pointing at Renesmee and just laughing like a dumbass is hilarious! Comedic gold! It's THE money shot of the entire saga! Sheen is basically like Nicolas Cage and does whatever he fucking wants!
I am serious, his overacting alone is worth watching the movie.

- Although the entire movie revolves around Renesmee, she barely has anything to say and is just characterless as fuck.

- That final showdown battle as a whole is hilariously lousy and is just funny as all hell. That wannabe epic backgroundmusic only makes it funnier to watch.

- The final twist ending is like a "it was only a dream"-payoff and extremely unsatisfying. And even the sudden appearance of a second vampire/human somehow convinces the Volturi leader to let everybody live waaay to easily. The definition of NOT being an epic finale.

- After the Volturi leader is shown through a vision what would happen if he attacked Bella and friends, why doesn't he make things differently then, so he wouldn't die but succeed?

----------!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!----------

Go Home, Bella. You're drunk.

Due to its focus on lousy action and not on more lame teenage melodrama, Breaking Dawn Part 2 is next to Eclipse the least bad of the franchise. Compared to the horrendously bad Part 1, this time the boredom is by far not as present. Yet still, Part 2 distinguishes itself from the previous entries by the absolutely awful production. Obvious soundstages, disturbingly bad CGI, actors that just don't give a fuck and overact all the time and a script with numerous plot holes define this finale. Especially the awfully executed  film production just hurts to watch.
How come a franchise that makes so much money can't get simple things like this right?! It honestly feels like director Bill Condon has never made a movie before.
Overall, from production failures to numerous faux-pas in the story department, Breaking Dawn Part 2 is expectedly a bad movie.
ALTHOUGH, i have to admit that if you view it only for the badness of it, you will have a great time and will see it as one of the best unintentional comedies of this year.
Yet still, non-fans should generally keep away from this cheaply made and plain bad straight-to-DVD movie as much as possible. It's a fittingly lame conclusion to a fittingly lame saga.

(P.S.: This review is entirely devoted to the Twilight movies and not the novels!)

Final Verdict: 1 out of 10 

And now as a bonus, here's the insanely stupid laughter of Michael Sheen:

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