Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013


http://www.invisiblekidreviews.blogspot.de/2014/01/top-10-worst-movies-of-2013.html

Now that the last year went by, it is once again time to narrow down how the movies of the last year held up.
Once again, saving the best for last, we start with the worst movies of the last year...and boy did we get a load of disappointing and bad movies in 2013!

Whereas I thought that 2012 was so littered with bad movies that 2013 just HAD to be better, little did i know that 2013 would be even worse.
With that said, this doesn't mean that 2013 didn't have any movies to be excited about. As a matter of fact, 2013 should've been one of the most exciting years for filmgoers. The list of blockbuster movies, whose trailers seemed very promising, was astoundingly big.
Yet, little did we know that 2013 would be defined by not just a whole lot of bad movies but even more so, just flatout extremely disappointing ones.

As of now, a total of 69 movies of 2013 have been watched and reviewed or at least rated by our site.
Of these 69 movies, 33 movies (almost half of all the movies) ranked lower than a 4 out of 10 rating - an amazingly weak year for movies.

As every year, our list focusses mainly on blockbuster big screen releases and ignores easy targets like straight-to-DVD B-Movies (Sharknado, etc.).

So let's get this over with. What was the worst of the worst of 2013?

Here is Invisible Kid's list of the worst movies of 2013!









Despite most critics praising Pacific Rim's fun factor over its logic, it's no excuse to praise Pacific Rim the least bit more than any of Michael Bay's Transformers movies.
Being essentially the same movie as Transformers only in a bigger scale, with monsters and tedious slow-motion fight sequences, Guillermo Del Toro's blatened attempt to cash in by stealing ideas and ripping-off Transformers and Independence Day (even coming down to ripping-off the entire finale) cannot be unseen. The additional fact that the movie is littered with dumb dialogue, stereotypical and unbelievably dumb characters, no credible character developments, tons of plot-holes and inconsistencies, doesn't help this movie either.
Is it okay if people call Pacific Rim simply "dumb fun"? Yes it's okay.
What's not okay however is to praise this movie any more than Bay's Transformers movies, cause Pacific Rim falls right into that category and is nothing more.









Now You See Me can be easily defined as the "Anti-Prestige" movie, that thinks it's much smarter than it actually is.
This movie comes along with a star-stutted cast, high production values and an intriguing premise. But different from movies like Christopher Nolan's Prestige, which superbly shows that magic is a result of trickery and science creating illusions, Now You See Me completely throws that out of the window.
It's therefore a no-brainer that this is another movie that is just full of plot holes. 
Certain supposedly twisty magic tricks of the Robin-Hood-style group of magicians never really get explained throughout the entire movie and other story-twists come out of nowhere.
This is a movie that wants to work like a magician, who always wants to amaze you with twists. And i get that a magician never reveals how his tricks work, but if your movie doesn't explain to me how those magicians can pull off such incredibly far-fetched and unrealistic magic tricks, in the end it just comes off as plot-conventient and dumb. 
If Now You See Me is one thing, it's style over substance and full of lazy plot conveniences.









If you thought that Hangover 2 was already a worthless cash-in, which simply recycled the entire plot of the first movie without any really good laughs, then just you wait until you see how uncreative and stupid Hangover 3 is.
In this unnecessary third part of this "epic trilogy", there isn't even a hangover. As a matter of fact, it's completely idiotic to even name this movie hangover at all.
It quickly gets obvious that the screenwriters already ran dry of jokes when they started to write this flick. Hangover 3 is pretty much devoid of laughs with even fan-favorite Galafianakis not being able to pull off one solidly funny joke throughout the entirety of this movie.
Instead, we get lame a pseudo thriller movie with no actual hangover adventure, a lot of unfunny slapstick and an annoying Asian guy we all would want to choke to death.
Another indicator that the first Hangover movie should've remained a one-hit-wonder.

For the full review click here.









There are certain actor duos, who alone can pull off an entire movie, but those kind of movies and duos are uncommon and rare.
Another fact is that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are definitely not such a kind of duo.
The Internship is a movie that is a prime example of a movie, which originated from the involvement of two specific actors and a huge sponsorship deal with a very very large company.
In this case, the entire comedic relief of this supposed comedy rests on the shoulders of Vince's and Owen's chemistry or "them just doing their thing".
Unfortunately enough, "them doing their thing" wasn't the least bit enough to hold together a movie with an uninspired and extremely boring story that mainly aims to advertise Google as one of the biggest and "most hip" companies of this day and age.
Vince and Owen did make some good comedies, but even those gave them a good premise and plot to shape their comedy around, which is most definitely not the case with this overly long Google commerical.










With Pixar being capable of pulling off the most imaginative animation stories with some of the most unique character designs from animals to people, what would be the most uncreative and boring of things they could make a movie about? - Cars. And what could be even more uncreative? - Cars 2.
And now just one more step into bland cash-in territory, and you get...Planes.
It's bad enough that both Cars as well as its sequel Cars 2 put quite a dent in Pixar's reputation as one of the world's most well regarded animation studios, but even worse is the decision of Pixar ro release an originally planned straight-to-DVD movie as a full theatrical release to cash-in on childrens' innocent stupidity and their parents' pockets.
Planes manages to tell its cookie-cutter stereotypical "hero learns the value of hard work and gets reputation"-storyline in such a boring manner, that it's very likely that even kids might find Planes' plot quite a bit too familiar and uninspired.
Therefore, Planes sadly marks one of the lowest points in Pixar's lifecycle.
Let's just hope we don't have to see "Boats" anytime soon.










What bad movie list would be complete without a horror movie in it?
What started with Rob Zombie's misguided attempt to put more "character" and "understanding" into the iconic serial killer Michael Myer's, gets followed up on in the next chapter of the chronologically confused Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise, called Texas Chainsaw 3D (we need an award for dumbest sequel title).
Aside from boasting typically dumb horror-movie characters and a fairly weak plot, Texas Chainsaw 3D tries to execute the bold but ultimately incredibly stupid idea of repositioning the iconic Leatherface from an antagonist into a misunderstood anti-hero.
It all results in a character development that is completely devoid of logic or shared sympathy.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (just like Rob Zombie's Halloween movies) tries to cram a complex backstory and sympathy into the personality of an antagonist that the audience though loves to hate.
In rarely any other genre than horror movies is this the usual case and tradition, where the bad guy is always the star of the show. Nobody wants to see them as the movies' protagonists!
Texas Chainsaw 3D is a movie in which Leatherface kills off his sister's group of friends one by one, only to save her in the final act from corrupt police men and make peace with her. Well then why did he kill her friends and why is it shoved aside by both as if it was nothing? Because Leatherface is supposed to be the hero now...stupid.









M. Night Shyamalan's career as a director is a tragic one. He rocketed himself into stardom with The Sixth Sense and kept falling since disappointing movies like The Village, and kept on falling...and falling...and falling...
Well, in 2013 we see that Shyamalan is still...well...falling, whereas he now reached a new record low in which he didn't even want his own name on his new movie's poster being afraid that it could negatively affect the movie's box office income.
The truely sad thing however is that not even did Shyamalan once again write and direct a ridiculously bad and dumb movie, but furthermore, he himself wasn't even the movie's biggest problem.
After Earth is one of the most obvious showcases of Hollywood nepotism for a long time.
Not only is After Earth (of course) full of plot holes due to its bad script but it's also laughably executed through Will Smith's and Jaden Smith's terrible performances.
While Will Smith eagerly tries to boost his son's career in order to elevate Jaden to the same superstar level that Will himself is on, Jaden is simply not a good enough actor to hold together an entire movie on his own. And he is MOST certainly not a good enough actor to save a horrible Shyamalan movie.

For the full review click here.









Where do I even start with this movie?
How about with the four leading actors?
Adam Sandler, did some funny movies in the 90s...and those are long over, now he's just annoying but still thinks he's the funniest guy around. Kevin James was great in the TV series King of Queens, but his comedic relief in movies mostly consists out of falling down a lot and on other tired slapstick. David Spade, is not funny and never was. And Chris Rock is a funny guy, but only as long as he is allowed to come out and curse as much as he wants, which is not the case in this "family movie".
After the tremendous disaster which was the original Grown Ups there arises the question, who the hell wanted a sequel of this? Probably the same audience that finds a deer pissing on Adam Sandler hilarious as hell. Well that's what you're going to get here.
Grown Ups 2, just like its predecessor, targets the lowest and laziest kind of comedy (and according audience) and doesn't even manage to consistently pull that off due to its incredibly uninspired and extremely boring story. Avoid this sequel just as much as its predecessor.
 








Movie 43 is some kind of miracle. It's a rare kind of movie which can be seen in fascination...or more likely in total digust.
I simply cannot understand how so many very well regarded and respected Hollywood actors (some of them are Oscar winners and nominees!) could read the script for Movie 43 and sit there and say "Okay! That's a good and funny movie! I want to be involved in that!".
Movie 43 obviously was build around the concept that simply putting high A-class actors in a movie with atrocious sketches focussing on disgusting sex practices, poop, piss, and all other kinds of nasty things would be good enough to make people laugh a lot. Well guess what? It's not!
It seriously hurts to see great actors like Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Richard Gere, Emma Stone, and more in this ridiculously unfunny mess.
Not one single sketch clicks. Oftentimes you sit there and wait for a joke to happen only to realize that the jokes have already been told and that you missed them because they simply were so unfunny.
The various directors and producers of Movie 43 thought that mixing offensively dumb sketches with great actors has to equal fun. But no! It's still just dumb!
Let alone the fact that such an amazing cast was wasted on such a disaster of a comedy script more than legitimates that it has to be among the top 3 worst movies of this year.










Well, what movie could be even worse than Movie 43?
Whereas Movie 43 is disgusting but at least gives you some good looking, great actors to "look at", Scary Movie 5 is without any doubt the bottom of the barrel in all aspects.
Not only is it yet another movie of a genre that finally needs to go extinct, but it's also filled with the most trashed, disregarded and deranged cast of actors Hollywood could find behind the fridge.
Here's a movie that stars famous and "talented" actors like Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Heather Locklear, and other Hollywood trash actors that desperately try to grab to anything blockbuster-ish to glue together their broken and lost career.
Furthermore, how about not actually parodying movies and doing good comedy but just focus on retarded slapstick humor like throwing and kicking kids around for the next 1,5 hours?
It's amazing that there are still people in Hollywood trying to make useless parodies like Disaster Movie or the Hungover Games, that are simply DESTINED to fail right from the start.
Rarely have I seen such a worthless excuse for a comedy aiming at such a retarded audience like Scary Movie 5.
How much lower does Hollywood have to go with the parody genre to realize that it has to go extinct. It's time is long over. Die already!

Scary Movie 5 is Invisible Kid's pick for the worst movie of 2013.









Once again, we close our Top 10 with a dishonorable mention of "The Most Disappointing Movie of 2013".

Making a good Die Hard movie isn't even that hard. Just give us a straight forward good action story involving terrorists, Bruce Willis looking badass while doing badass things and spitting out badass one-liners, and top it off with some great action sequences.
Whereas I myself am still a strong believer that truely great Die Hard movies simply cannot be made nowadays due to the iconic movies' 90s style that just cannot be copied, 2007's Live Free or Die Hard (aka Die Hard 4) might not exactly fulfill every aspect of a true Die Hard sequel, but it was still a great Bruce Willis action movie in its own right.
However, when I first saw the trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard (Die Hard 5) i was actually very impressed. While we didn't really got to know anything about the story, the action scenes looked very promising and i had new hope for yet another great Die Hard or at least Bruce Willis action flick.
But then the movie came out...and boy was it a giant disappointment.
It quickly got obvious that the fact that the trailers didn't really tell us anything about the movie's story is that it barely had one!
Die Hard 5 ultimately was nothing more than an uninspired compilation of action scenes starring Bruce Willis and his John McClane's son, who nobody wanted to see in the first place.
The entire movie consisted of roughly three big action sequences and basically nothing else. Not even iconic character aspects about John McClane (Bruce Willis) were in this movie. No good one-liners, no hangover headaches, but instead we got plenty of forced in and weird emotional talks with his son.

2013 was truely full of disappointing movies like Lone Ranger, Kick-Ass 2, Man of Steel and Star Trek 2, which beat my expectations and hype for them with a shovel and buried them in Hollywood's cash-grab junkyard.
But none of them got me so disappointed like the lazy sequel A Good Day to Die Hard.

For the full review click here.

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Dishonorable Mentions:

Last Vegas
R.I.P.D.
Turbo
World War Z
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Gangster Squad
Insidious 2
Lone Ranger
World's End
Thor: The Dark World




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