Before we start with the best movies of the year 2014, let's first get over with the worst of the worst this year had to offer - the Top 10 Worst Movies of 2014.
Among our rated and reviewed total of 70 movies this year, bad and good movies were actually quite balanced this time around unlike the horrible movie years of 2012 and 2013.
Also, even though some movies were really really bad, they were still quite a bit away from being as drastically terrible than the ones from the previous two years.
Still, the worst of the worst this year don't slip by us that easily, without getting a dishonorable place in our Top 10 Worst list.
As every year, our list focusses mainly on blockbuster big screen releases and ignores easy targets like straight-to-DVD B-Movies.
And now, here is Invisible Kid's Top 10 list of the Worst Movies of 2014!
We start our list with one of the most misguided interpretations of one of horror's and literature's most popular and well known characters - Frankenstein (or to be more exact: Frankenstein's Monster).
I, Frankenstein, from the makers of the Underworld franchise, brings us the famous monster in the form of...a generic kung-fu- and blade fighting dude in a coat. Even though there's nothing wrong about supernatural action movies in general, author Mary Shelley sure must be spinning around like crazy in her grave considering what a slapped together mess I, Frankenstein is. Uninspired, extremely forgettable, terribly written and featuring effects on straight-to-DVD level, this first movie in a planned franchise should be reason enough to kill this "franchise" off before it spawns even more of such poor movies...or lays eggs.
After the huge success of the AMC TV-series Breaking Bad, doors to Hollywood and offers for big roles in blockbuster movies were wide open and plenty for actor Aaron Paul. Yet, instead of planning his carreer wisely and accordingly choosing carefully which movie to start off with in Hollywood, Mr. Paul sadly chose...poorly (*10 points if you get the reference*).
Need for Speed had plenty of things running against it right from the start: 1. aside from Aaron Paul, there are no other big actors to support Paul's performance to additionally hold the movie up, 2. video game adaptations are always a very risky thing to pull off and almost always backfire, 3. with a concept about illegal racing that soooo much resembles the far more succesful Fast and Furious franchise, the movie instantly tries to compete with a far too strong rivalling franchise. Furthermore, it doesn't help that the movie's story was dragging along at a snail's pace with far too many boring dialogue scenes and way not enough fun action.
Dear Aaron Paul, next time please plan your Hollywood career more carefully and...no wait...after your fail with Need for Speed it's now already too late. I guess it's "Bye, Bye Hollywood" for you. Why don't you just take a seat right there next to Taylor Kitsch.
Sex Tape's premise initially sounded quite interesting and pretty promising for a good ole' fun comedy or at least rom-com. With a set-up of Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel as a couple that is caught up in a race against time to destroy each Ipad of their friends which unluckily enough has a sex tape of them on it, all the movie needs now are just some wacky characters and situations in them and some jokes. Especially in a movie about a sex tape accidentally given out to the couple's friends, one would expect the movie to go out all the way with raunchy humor and adult jokes.
Yet, what we got instead was not really a comedy with tasteless jokes but rather a "comedy" with just barely anything to really laugh at at all. Most of the supposedly funny situations in the movie came off more boring than anything else. It's surprising how a comedy with such an idiot-proof set-up couldn't even rank up as "okay" entertainment.
If we learned anything from Transcendence, it is that being a good camera man doesn't automatically turn you into a good director.
Transcendence was a sci-fi movie tackling serious themes that are quite relevant in today's age when technology keeps evolving and evolving. Yet, it get's pretty clear that this Johnny Depp driven flick was all style over substance. Effects and cinematography are surely impressive, but the movie's themes obviously exceeded its narrative grasp. Important aspects and motivations never get explained well enough to make the movie's story feel realistic or thought-provoking but rather just silly and comicy. Not only that, but Transcendence's dialogue and "supposedly" emotional and tragic moments come off as incredible bores and redundant idiot-talk basically about nothing.
Transcendence aimed for the stars but miserably landed in the neighbor's yard like a North Korean missile.
For the recap review click here.
Viewers expecting an edgy high-school comedy ala Girls Club with some supernatural elements...well...you certainly will get some supernatural stuff like vampires and magic things but...yeah...that's it.
Admittedly, Vampire Academy certainly has its small devoted fanbase that will find some things to dig from this adaptation. Yet, nevertheless for everyone else, Vampire Academy comes off as a badly produced mish-mash of Harry Potter-esque set-ups and myth mixed together with some vampire clichees. On top of that, it's way too needlessly complicated and will just bore the average viewer with its nonstop gossip and trash-talk. In the end, you will not care the least bit about any single character in the entire story. Calling this movie bloodless and mundane would be quite fitting.
Once again: the golden age of parody movies is over and ALL directors should finally start to entirely stop doing parodies nowadays. Though luckily enough most of Hollywood knows that parodies today are destined to fail critically as well as commercially, yet once in a while there still come along movies like Haunted House...2. Though some viewers with very low standards in terms of humor and comedy might find joy in Haunted House 2's tired, vulgar and racist gags, the thought that something this redundant and stupid actually makes people laugh is still astonishing.
Haunted House 2 is this year's Scary Movie 5 and resultingly only features clicheed jokes and ages-old stereotypes to "hold up" its "comedy". What else is there to say? It's a movie marketed towards teenagers but with comedy made for toddlers. Therefore the target audience must be...well...just idiot teenagers...yay.
There's nothing wrong with Melissa McCarthy herself. She sure has a lot of charisma and is one of the few female comedians not necessarily featuring a model's body. Though it would be too much to compare her to the likeness of Whoopie Goldberg, she sure is somewhat one of a kind in Hollywood right now.
Still, McCarthy's popularity recently doesn't do her any favors since far too many bad scripts of slapped together comedies are thrown her way simply with her as the main attraction - case and point: Tammy.
Tammy's comedy completely relies on McCarthy doing her thing in hopes for making the audience laugh, yet you simply can't expect something like this to happen if you don't give the actress anything to work with. Tammy is full of bad jokes, bland slapstick and been-there-done-that situations. Tammy is easily the lowest point McCarthy's roster of comedies have led up until now. With no other comedy actors to support her performance, McCarthy is left completely alone with no good material to actually do comedy with. The result: 1,5 hours of the cringeworthiest and most pathetic ways McCarthy could present herself to the world to date.
Once in a while, some movies come along that turn out as experiments from capable supporting actors and actresses who simply want to find out whether they can hold up an entire movie on their own as a main protagonist. And well, sometimes these movies just terribly backfire.
Walk of Shame was actress Elizabeth Banks' attempt for acting in a main role in a comedy, and let's just say that you yourself will have a walk of shame out of the theater if you actually paid to see this unfunny trash.
Elizabeth Banks is known for supporting roles in comedies with raunchy humor, therefore it's even the more surprising how flat Walk of Shame's jokes fall. The movie aims to build most of its jokes on the foundation of putting Banks into uncomfortable situations but forgets that in order to get the audience to laugh, you can't just put a woman in a pretty dress into a dumpster and expect comedic gold. Sadly, this is the only trick Walk of Shame knows, and it plays this trick again and again and again throughout the entire movie in hopes for it to eventually work...Well, guess what...it doesn't. Just like it didn't the first few hundred times.
Not only is making a horror movie out of an "ouija board premise" extremely unimaginative to begin with, but the fact that the movie simply called "Ouija" is produced like it was made by the Disney Channel comes off as a pure insult to anybody hoping to get any real horror or scares out of it.
Ouija is amazing in the way it just blatenedly uses prehistorically old stereotypes and clichees from horror movies. Possessed characters killing themselves, the ghost standing behind you as soon as you shut the bathroom mirror, and much more that you have surely seen a thousand times before. And let's not forget the horrible acting.
But to give credit, these tired tropes combined with terribly written characters and the boring story make Ouija probably the most efficient way to put yourself into sleep or a coma since popping sleeping pills with wine.
What worst movies list would be complete without at least one Nicolas Cage film on it?
Nicolas Cage movies which (sadly) have now become the norm when talking about bad movies are therefore usual suspects for Invisible Kid's worst of the year lists. This year's contender though goes all out by being not even so bad that it's funny but being just...really damn bad.
Left Behind is a big culmination of every aspect a movie consists of being executed badly: its marketing is bad, its production values are bad, its script is bad, its effects are bad, its acting is bad, etc...
Right down from the poster you can just say that this movie is going to be pure garbage (just look at the unimaginative and pathetic photoshop work!).
Left Behind has the world facing the biblical apocalypse with good people being beamed to heaven while bad people are "left behind" on Earth to face its downfall. Meanwhile, Cage plays a pilot "left behind" with a bunch of passengers, trying to land his plane safely on a nearby airport....that's the movie. No. Seriously. That's it. There absolutely doesn't happen ANYTHING else aside from his daughter helping Cage to land the damn thing.
Left Behind completely looks and feels like a movie that could have been made by the SyFy Channel and stand next to other trash movies like Frankenfish or Mansquito. With that said, acting is laughably bad and dialogue and messages preachy as all hell. But the worst thing really is that this movie isn't even so bad that it's funny again. It's just bad! It's embarassingly low even compared to other horrible Cage movies.
Left Behind is therefore Invisible Kid's pick for the Worst Movie of 2014.
As always, we close our Top 10 with a dishonorable mention of "The Most Disappointing Movie of 2014".
The two Expendables movies weren't phenomenal achievements in film-making but they for the most part delivered what was advertised: old action icons brutally kicking ass once more. They were brutal, badass and awesome flashbacks to the good ole' days from the 80s and 90s.
One would think making another Expendables movie should be ridiculously easy: just put more action heroes of the old days in the movie and let them do their thing and you are good.
But oh boy did Stallone and friends f*** up with Expendables 3 with that bullet-proof formula.
Instead, Expendables 3 first of all did the ill-advised attempt to "appeal to a wider audience" by being rated PG-13, and second of all, it put its major focus on "the new blood" consisting out of boring and faceless UFC fighters and other no-name actors.
Not only did the younger audience not know what to make of these "old action heroes" they don't have any nostalgic feels for, but also they absolutely didn't care about the newly added ones as well. On top of that, OF COURSE actual fans of Stallone and co. were majorly disappointed with the slapped together, bloodless action and shifted focus.
After the movie leaking onto the internet weeks before its release and bombing hard at the box office later, Stallone actually apologized for Expendables 3's new direction and failed attempt to aim for youngsters...but the damage was already done.
The Expendables franchise knew what its target audience was but nevertheless betrayed exactly this audience shamlessly. Featuring all of our beloved action movie icons on its poster only to lure us into this charmless, generic and toothless action flick makes Expendables 3 Invisible Kid's pick for the biggest disappointment of 2014.
For the full review click here.
A Million Ways to Die in the West
Let's Be Cops
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The November Man
300: Rise of an Empire
The Amazing Spider-Man 2